My Kind of Masculine

My friends always tell me I have the weirdest taste in men. None of them are similar in anyway possible. I've dated the "popular" guy, the outgoing jock, the class jokester, the introverted artist, the book worm, the best friend, etc. My friends always joke about how I don't have a type and have dated every type of guy there is possibly out there (always a confidence booster). They always ask me if I just say yes to a guy to be nice or if I actually am attracted to the guys I date. "Of course I was attracted to all of them! I wouldn't have dated them if I didn't find something special about them!," I would scream. Once I said this it got me thinking, what is special about all of them that I said yes? 

When the concept of masculinity entered my English class discussion and what we thought masculinity was, the first character I thought of was Tony Stark from Iron Man. He is just the type of guy I would fall for and drool over if I met him in real life. The funny thing is, the reason I find him so attractive and masculine is not because of his hegemonic traits such as his wealth, fit body, young age, and strong persona. I am attracted to him because he "owns what he's got". I love that Tony Stark knows how smart he is and uses his potential to try and better the world. I love that he knows what he wants and goes for it because that is just the type of person he is: a go getter. I love how he embraces his fears and fights them head on as the superhero Iron Man and as the mortal man Tony Stark. I realized that all the guys I have dated have been a Tony Stark. They all knew who they were and were true to the best version of themselves. My kind of masculine is a man that knows who he is and sticks to that no matter who pressures him. Of course I am not attracted to a pot smoker that says, "I am being true to myself and smoking 10 times a day!". I am talking about the personality traits that make us who we are as individual, unique people. I could never date a poser or a follower because I would not find that truly masculine and attractive. I've learned this past week that society has a certain way of categorizing masculine. Ideally the hegemonic man is who everyone leans toward because he is "perfect". This idea differs in racial and ethnic cultures also and transforms into the marginalized man or the man that belongs to different sub groups. My kind of masculine though is not "perfect". My kind of masculine is not a superhero but just a guy who embraces his faults and talents and "owns what he's got". In other words, he is his own man, not a "man's man".